#okay but real talk i'm so sorry that nova has to go through this

[stillm0nster]

walked  a  long  way  (  figuratively  )  until  he  finally  succumbed  to  his  true  feelings.  feelings  he  pushed  to  the  side  a  couple  months  ago  when  the  news  of  nova’s  pregnancy  hit  him  like  a  ton  of  bricks.  the  decision  to  follow  his  own  selfish  reasons  and  leave  her  was  something  he  came  to  regret  greatly  now.  too  late,  juwon  …  too  late.  she  probably  hated  him,  judging  by  the  messages  she  left.  from  her  begging  for  him  to  text  back,  call,  anything–-  her  crying  and  sobbing,  saying  his  name  like  a  prayer  and  expecting  he  would  have  a  change  of  heart,  to  cursing  him  and  his  whole  existence.  she  was  going  through  it.  scrolling  through  all  of  these  messages  now  had  made  his  heart  a c h e  but  it  also  opened  his  eyes  and  pulled  up  those  true  feelings  he  so  desperately  tried  to  suppress  for  so  long.  love  wins  all,  they  say.  he  too  cursed  his  own  existence  for  making  her  go  through  all  of  that  but  it  was  done  and  he  couldn’t  do  anything  to  undo  it.  sadly.  releasing  a  heavy  sigh,  he  rang  the  doorbell  as  if  he  was  a  guest  when  he  knew  the  passcode.  he  wasn’t  that  full  of  himself  to  do  that.  he  might  not  be  welcome  there  anymore.  glancing  at  the  watch  on  his  wrist,  he  realized  it  was  a  bit  too  late  into  the  night  to  be  doing  that  and  was  about  to  step  away  when  he  heard  the  familiar  click  and  the  door  slowly  opening.  “  hey–-  ” / @sacriifice

[amethystunarmed]

Nobody Should Ever Lose Their Place in the World

Word Count: 2436 AO3 Written for @pulpmusicalsfortnight2024 Day 5: Modern AU. Huge thank you to my beta @faery-people-of-the-future-day!

The first time Anna finds her, it's by accident. 

She is scouring through the database of Observatory Technology and Satellite Services, a subdivision of the infamous Herschel Corporation. It has been weeks of Anna trying to break into their servers, months since the announcement of their new wireless internet system, and today is the first day she has made any progress at all. She actually got in.

It had been practically effortless. Anna doesn't know what allowed her lucky break but she is grateful for it.

Doesn't mean her job is easy now. The files are convoluted, dozens of project names that mean nothing to her. But she only needs one. 

The Bright Future Initiative.

Her Sagitta. 

Still, she is going in the back way, and mostly flying by the seat of her pants. She isn't sure how to search through the files like this; her skills lie more in engineering than hacking. But she needs to find it, needs to get to her-

Her screen suddenly freezes. Anna clicks furiously, but her mouse doesn't respond. No. No, it's not fair. She can't have been kicked out. She hasn't found it yet.

Frustrated tears well in her eyes as she curses at the screen. Just as she is about to restart her computer, brilliant cyan text appears in the code she was searching through.

//error: Designation?

Anna... Anna has no idea how to respond to that. She stares at the screen, frantically trying to come up with some kind of lie Observatory Tech’s IT would find believable when-

//error: Hello? I know you're there. I would like to know just who is interrupting my operation. This is the Traveler speaking.

And that is the moment Anna puts it together. The reason it had been so easy to break through Observatory Tech's firewall today.

Someone had already done it.

Fuck. Fuck.

Okay, okay, she needs a designation. A hacker moniker? Does she ever deserve one of those? Anything but her real name, what could she-

And suddenly, it hits her like a flash, from one of her first Discord messages with John.

Well, if you're going to call me Herschy, I'm going to call you-

She types the name in, not even surprised her keyboard works again. 

You: Nova. I'm Nova.

There is a pause, and the other person types back.

//error: You come up with that just now?

Even though the other person can’t see it, Anna fights to hide a blush.

You: Is it that obvious?

//error: Your work is... heavy-handed, to say the least.

Did they really need to type the ellipses? Anna gets the picture.

//error: And the fact you didn’t immediately log off when I introduced myself really says you don’t know what you are getting into.

Anna frowns. Who on Earth could be so arrogant?

You: You really think every person knows who you are?

//error: Any hacker who knows their way around a keyboard would. You probably do too, little star. Ever heard of the Blazing World Coalition?

Anna’s eyes widen. She has. They are a group of self-identified white hat hackers, the closest thing the modern day has to a real Robin Hood. Just a few months ago, they had completely bankrupted the Itzal Financial Group after they shorted their own employees’ pensions in order to make millions. Not long about that, the BWC had been declared a terrorist group by the United States government.

Anna was chatting with Public Enemy Number 1.

You: Oh.

She isn’t sure why she types it. She just doesn’t know what else to do. 

//error: (✿◠‿◠) I see my reputation precedes me. //error: So do us both a favor and log. Off.

Anna should. She knows she should. She should log off and forget this whole thing, because she is suddenly in so incredibly far over her head.

But she remembers the grin on William Herschel’s face as he debuted her tech. The awe in the newscaster’s voice when he talked about the Satellite that was going to change the world. 

Her Satellite.

You: I’m sorry. I can’t.

//error: That wasn’t a request, little star. And I won’t ask nicely again. You should leave before you burn out.

Anna’s palms sweat. The keys feel damp under her fingers.

You: I can’t, there is something I need. I won’t get in your way, I don’t want money or anything like that. But I can’t leave just yet.

There is another long, long pause after that. Beneath the post-it note she has over her camera, a glowing red light turns on. Anna screams, and then covers her mouth. She still can’t fully mask her frantic gasping because-

They turned on her camera.

//error: ( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡°) You have such a gorgeous scream, little star. Shame I can’t see you. Though there are plenty of other cameras to look through... do you think you can cover them all? (´･ω･`)? 

No. She doesn’t think she can.

//error: There is a lot I can do with a face. You think this is scary, wait until I release all your naughty little secrets to the public. I am sure the authorities would love to hear about your new hobby. So do us both a favor and log off now. I won’t ask again. ヾ(￣▽￣) Bye~Bye~

Anna’s heart is pounding in her ears. All she can hear is the blood rushing through her veins at what feels like 100 miles per hour. She wonders if the Traveler can hear it through the microphone.

But she can’t give up. She knows now she won’t get another opportunity, not if they improve security after this attack; she could barely manage the security before. If they beef it up, she will have no chance. 

The Traveler has made this her last chance to regain control of the Sagitta. Anna can’t bear to waste it.

You: I can’t. Please. Please let me do this.

Another pause. Anna waits for the sound of sirens or maybe for her oven to explode, but all remains quiet. The red light on her laptop clicks off. 

//error: What could possibly be so important you would risk your entire identity just to see this through?

Anna hesitates. A group like the Blazing World with her Satellite, able to connect to the internet from anywhere on a grid where no one else would be able to track them... They would have the power to do anything they wanted if they took it over.

But they help people. All the employees who had lost their life savings when Itzal Financial shorted them? The day after the BWC’s attack, they woke up with bank accounts doubled or tripled what they had been before, with air tight records listing the funds as severance. Even when Itzal Financial had gone to court, there had been no case. No proof. Just over a thousand struggling people were suddenly able to enjoy life again.

They are her only shot now. 

You: Do you know about the Bright Future Initiative?

Anna may ask the question, but she already knows the answer. It's all anyone spoke about for weeks after the announcement.

//error: Herschel's new project? Where he boosted the internet for his companies from a satellite?

A Satellite. A. The dismissal makes her bristle. Her correction is swift and formal, showing none of the indignation thrumming through her.

You: My Satellite. He stole my tech and this is my last chance to get it back.

That agonizing silence returns as Anna waits for a reply. She isn't sure the Traveler will believe her, they have no reason to. 

All Anna can do is wait and hope. The Traveler's words appear slowly, line by line, as though they are trying to convince Anna.

//error: William Herschel has hurt many people. //error: I am sorry that you are among them. //error: But there is something big going on and many innocent people are going to continue being hurt if you don't let me finish here.

You: I'm not trying to stop you! If you let me do what I need to, I will stay out of your hair.

Another pause. 

//error: Nova... You don't know what you are doing. I found you because you tripped a security measure. I caught it and stopped it, but eventually you will get us both caught.

Anna feels those words flay her like knives. They scoop out her heart and leave her only with welling despair in her chest. Even if she had managed to break through the firewall, even if she had done it all on her own with no interference... 

Anna never would have gotten the Sagitta back. 

She is glad The Traveler disconnected from her camera. She isn't fully able to hold back the sob that wells in her and it would have been incredibly embarrassing if they heard.

She is quiet too long. Another message pops up.

//error: Too many lives are at risk. I hope you can understand that.

Anna's next words are petty. Petulant. Probably even childish. But she means every one.

You: But it's fine if he ruins my life? The lives of all the people my Satellite could help? You could help me and you're choosing not to. Doesn't that mean anything?

Anna knows just how powerful free internet, free communication can be. Her father would still be alive if he'd had it. They’d been alone in the middle of the ocean, with no way to make connection as his damaged ship drifted aimlessly, powerless. Dead in the water. The doctors say Anna only survived long enough to be rescued due to the rations he sacrificed to give to her. If they had only been able to signal for help...

It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that every day, Anna lives for him. She has to get this satellite back. 

Another long pause, long enough that Anna is left feeling tightly wound. She is waiting for a paragraph, a long explanation she can refute or build off of. The mere sentence she gets back stabs straight through her.

//error: I truly am sorry Nova.

Anna doesn't doubt it. She can feel the pity seeping through the keys like syrup, cloying on her tongue. And it makes the despair inside her burn, igniting the helplessness and eating away at her welling tears until there is nothing left but rage.

You: Traveler, can you promise me something? //error: Only once I hear the terms, little star. //error: But I will try. You: Make him suffer. If you can't help me, at least do that.

This time the response is immediate. 

//error: With pleasure. ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

Before Anna can even contemplate a reply, another message pops up.

//error: Get some rest, Nova. /ᐠ - ˕ -マᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 //error: Things will look better in the morning.

The chat closes and Anna finds herself booted out of the program entirely. The Traveler could have removed her whenever they liked. They were just being polite.

What else were they capable of?

Anna turns her computer off and unplugs it for good measure. She knows it won't help. She has very little doubt the Traveler could log into her phone or tablet or even her microwave just as easily as they did her computer. But it makes her feel better, nonetheless.

She tries to message John. He sends back one apologetic about a family emergency and goes silent for the rest of the evening. She puts her phone on Do Not Disturb. It's not like anyone is going to be reaching out to her.

Anna is once again, alone.

She curls up in her bed and cries for longer than she would like to admit. Her grant was pulled after her prototype went missing at her University's Expo. The school themselves said the theft was disheartening but there was nothing they could do.

Not for the first time, Anna wonders how much of William Herschel's money lines their pockets. 

It's over. Her satellite hangs in the sky, bastardized out of all it is supposed to be. 

I'm so sorry, Father, she pleads, hoping his ghost will have mercy on her. Our dream dies here. She clutches her pillow and watches as light slowly comes in the window. 

Around seven, she gives up on sleep entirely.

When she enters her living room, the first thing she does is turn on the news. This is not her habit. In fact, this is the last thing she wants to be doing. She typically avoids the news, getting only the most urgent alerts from an app on her phone. But today, she wants to see what state the Blazing World Coalition left Observatory Tech in. After Itzal Financial was hacked, it was in the news for months. 

And there's nothing. Not a single mention of the company falling apart. Anna opens her phone to google the company and-

Emails, calls, text messages. Congratulations from old professors, job offers, interview requests. One text from her bank informs her of a deposit with more zeros than seems possible.

And at the beginning of it all, received at 6:13 am, is an email with a blinding cyan subject line.

Hello Little Star!

Anna opens it without hesitation. If the Traveler wanted to steal her information, she would have done it by now. 

You have truly abysmal protections in place, Nova. I was able to get this email in practically no time at all! You'll need far more practice if you hope to continue these endeavors. As I'm sure you may have heard, this morning William Herschel revealed the true genius behind the Brighter Future Initiative and relinquished control of her Satellite back into her capable hands. (I highly recommend watching the interview. His expressions are priceless.) It's all here, the information for operating the cubesat, patents in your name, pay stubs listing back pay plus interest... Everything you have rightly earned. I apologize, for not fully considering the value of that last night. Women like us need to stick together, and I am grateful you reminded me of that. It was easy enough to complete both our goals, and I never would have considered it otherwise. Don't give up the fight. I hope to see you around. The Traveler ✶⋆.˚

Anna tries to reply but the email bounces back; it's already disconnected. 

Anna wants to show the Traveler just how grateful she is, needs to speak with her again. She looks over the instructions and tips she sent.

She is going to need all the help she can get if she wants to find her again.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

TW: child suicide attempt

Hi, I’m really struggling with a new possible memory from my childhood, and I don’t want it to be real but I’m not sure. I was about to fall asleep the other night when I had a flashback of me trying to attempt suicide when I was around 7 years old. I had a vivid image of me holding a green rope in my hand trying to tie a noose. I also remember making a plan on how to do it and where. Obviously the attempt failed, but it’s really messing with my head. I also found documents in my abuser’s home office the other day of when I was taken to a shrink at 10 years old for “screaming that I wanted to die”, which makes me believe I really was suicidal enough for this to be a real memory. I don’t know who to talk to about this and I’m really scared. What should I do?

Ahoy there Anon,

That must have been such a horribly distressing thing to experience. I'm really sorry that you're going through so much fear right now, and that this is presenting itself to you in such a confusing way. I can't imagine the kind of distress you must be feeling from finding the documents.

Even though I'm not able to confirm what happened back then, and what's causing these memories to pop up for you, I want you to know that you deserve support and care for this. No matter what. Your memories are valid.

I know not having the answers you need is terrifying- and it must be such an isolating thing to go through.

You don't have to confront your abuser about the papers, or force yourself to go to them for answers. I promise. Your own wellbeing now is the most important thing- and there are professionals that are trained to help you work through and process memories in a way that's best for you.

If you ever feel ready to share your memories with a professional, (which is something that can always be at your own pace!), this blog post helps walk you through picking one that'll be perfect for you. But if that process feels like too big of a jump right now, that's always completely okay. This pdf is all about managing flashbacks- and has font formatting that will make it easier to focus on main points when you're in the middle of a flashback, too.

I wish you nothing but comfort, Anon. This is so much for you to handle, and I hope you get to do something kind for yourself today- even if it's as simple as not doing anything at all. If you ever need to reach back out again- for advice, validation, or just some comfort- we're always here for you.

-Mod Nova 💫

[guigz1-coldwar]

'Convincing' : New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

"Convincing"

"I don't know what I will do when we will get Adler back and I ain't going to be too friendly."

Chapter Summary : After discovering that the whole mission against Naga was an trap organized by Stitch, Yirina and the team are going back to base after this long day.....

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +3200

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This mission was only an big trap widely destined for all of us. Stitch has used the perfect bait for that : saying that Adler was there before relocating to an safer location out of our sight and on top of that, he decided to use his old work before realizing that all of this Nova-6 threat in the region was fake, nothing in here was real, it was just an ambush but we somehow managed to get over it, trying to find intels about where could possibly Stitch has taken Adler...I can't believe all of this that happened and our mission was an failure....we lost precious people....for nothing....

Of course, me & Park directly go to see the others that was still there, saying that the Nova-6 threat was nothing and faked and for that, we had to check every blue barrels that we could find in the camp and for all of them, it was the same thing : nothing in them, not even some fake smoke....nothing. Everyone went pretty angry about seeing all of this as the man that they interrogated didn't tell too much before Wolf terminated him, knowing that we will have no more answers from him.

We took almost half an day to finish to secure the site to find anything else but like always, it was either nothing or something that was useless for us. After the night start to fall, we all decided to go back to base while others CIA agent will watch over the sector to make sure that Naga's remaining men doesn't try anything to take back the camp. During all the flight back, I didn't even pronounce an word and even Park didn't say something, both in our thoughts until the helicopter we used landed back to the base, Woods flying this thing.

"Okay, everyone out." Woods ordered after he landed the helicopter to the ground, turning his head to look at everyone.

"Sounds good for me." Wolf scoffed, still sounding angry as he got out of the helicopter while me, I was awaiting for everyone to get out before following them behind.

"I don't know how Hudson will take the news." Rivas expressed.

"Well, we'll see about that." Woods told her, taking his XM4 out of the chopper as I got out with Park at my side, still not opening our mouths at any seconds, walking with the group to meet with Hudson, awaiting for us as he was going out of the hangar

"How's the rest of the checkup happened ?" Hudson asked, the group arriving near him, smoking one of his cigarettes.

"It didn't went good to say." Woods started, his left hand behind his head to scratch it. "Not only Adler wasn't there but the Nova-6, it was faked."

"Faked ?" Hudson sighed, his eyes narrowed through his glasses.

"Yeah, the barrels, they were empty." Wolf continued at Woods's place to talk about it. "All of them, it was Grigoriev & Park who found out about it." He added, his eyes on both of us...slighty embarassed to be the center of it.

"And to add more, no survivors helped us to know more, we're in the dark." Rivas spoke up, crossing his arms towards Hudson.

"Damnit." Hudson breathed, his hands on his waist. "That's meaning that Naga is our only lead for the moment." He sighed again and I couldn't believe that Naga was the only person that could help us to actually find Adler....if only he will talk....

"The cleaning crew will check up if we missed anything but it's not certain that we will find anything else useful." Woods exclaimed, sounding an bit defeated in his words.

"Good." Hudson whispered, looking inside the hangar and I could see Song...sitting at Garrett's workplace....

"Is she..." I started, breaking the silence I put to myself before stopping myself.

"No, she's not fine if you want to know." Hudson replied harshly to me. "She came back with the few remaining members of Rivas recon team but she didn't speak an word since." He looked at her, with some sort of desesperation in his eyes. "Leave her be for now." He gestured, meaning that he wouldn't want anyone to actually speak to her.

"Where's Naga ?" Sims demanded.

"In the interrogation room in the back." Hudson pointed at the supposed room direction with his hands. "Guy was really beaten up...and his left hand got cut off, might need some time to know what we want." He added, mentioning what I did against Naga but I wasn't proud of it...because I didn't do it...I didn't pull the trigger.

"Everyone needs some rest, we will talk later about it, dismissed." Woods ordered, gesturing to the group to split up and everyone complied, going back inside the hangar but not me & Park who stayed outside in hidden sight.

"I don't think I can't talk to her, Park." I affirmed, thinking that Song is maybe dead angry against me before sitting down on the ground, my back against the hangar's wall.

"I don't know." She said in an broken voice, joining me at my side. "Garrett was like everything for Song and losing him...." She confirmed before stopping herself in her sentence, looking at her with tears in my eyes

"I know that you both counted on me to kill Naga, I know that you're not angry but Song...it's different." I admitted in an low voice, looking down at my feets. "Looking at her, sitting at his office, no, I can't do this."

"I don't want to force you, Yirina." Park stated, putting her arm behind my neck, sounding sad. "But even me, I can't talk with her about it." She continued.

"I can't do this but I'm sure I will have to do this at one moment." I told her as I was thinking to talk with Song but not tonight, I couldn't do it. "This..." I started, taking my ballistic knife off my jacket, the one given to me by Garrett. "He believed in me and me too but....here we are." I put the ballistic knife gently on the ground before looking in the horizon. "This fight is going to kill me before I can finish it."

"No, it will not kill you." Park protested in an normal voice, putting his left hand on my shoulder.

"I didn't tell you what happened after the crash...and before the attack on the camp." I told her, something I didn't really talk about for the day.

"Tell me." She whispered, looking at me worried.

"Adler...I've got an vision of him, thinking at first it was really him before realizing that it was just something to torture me." I started, joining my hands together, seeing them cleaned from all of the blood I had hours ago. "Then, I saw....Lazar." I snorted, passing my hand through my face to clean any tears falling in case. "And two memories." I added.

"Shit." Park breathed, an bit disturbed by what she just heard from me.

"An memory of me, having an discussion with Perseus himself in my old apartment and seeing that I wasn't well in those days and....the other, it was me getting beaten up by Adler." I continued to tell her what she wanted to know, looking at her with crying eyes. "Tell me, do you know why I wasn't talking ?" I asked her.

"No, I don't know why." She shook her head sadly to me. "Adler was always evasive about that and he even refused me access to some files the CIA made about you between the day you got captured and the day I joined his team." She added, making me curious about those files. "But you have to ask Sims for that." She suggested to me, biting her lips

"Do you know why he did this ?" I questioned but her response was an shaking from her head. "So, Sims is the only one who can tell...." I sighed.

"Don't worry, if you want, I can be there for you like I'm always saying." She proposed, making me grin but an very little.

"Yeah, like you always saying...thanks." I whispered, moving to make an little kiss on her cheek for one second. "Listen, I think you need to go get some rest." I suggested.

"And you ?" She demanded.

"I want to make an call and if possible, talk to Sims." I responded, slowly getting up and helping her too to get up. "Don't worry, I'll be fine." I affirmed, making an little kiss again on her forehead before I let her go back inside.

It took me actually 5 minutes to get myself back inside the hangar, getting my equipment back at its place on the desk me & Park used but keeping my M1911 with me and during all of that, I was trying to not make eyes contacts with Song, not wanting to provoke her or to talk to her right now. She was so sad and crying in silence that I wanted to keep my eyes away from her, not wanting myself to cry again, she was in pain...and I can understand that.

Once I was done of getting rid of my equipment, I walked slowly to get to the room where the secured lines were located to make the call I mentioned to Park. I wanted to talk with Zasha, keeping them updated about the situation and it would make me better to hear their voice after 2 days of not having an discussion betwenn us but with what happened, I couldn't be so sure about been better.

"Zasha Smirnov." I heard their voice through the phone only after one ringing from it. Guess that they were not very busy at the moment.

"It's...Yirina." I whispered in an low voice, trying to sound good.

"Oh hey, it's good to hear your voice to say." They affirmed in an pleased voice.

"Yeah, me too." I said but my voice was betraying my real state and I knew that I couldn't keep it to be honest. "Zed, things didn't go as planned."

"What ? What are you saying ?" They asked, hearing them getting redressed in their chair maybe.

"Today, we had an mission in the jungle to stop Naga, save that Adler & neutralize the Nova-6 threat." I started, sounding mostly bad to talk about it. "I...we lost Garrett."

"No." One simple word but I could hear the shock in their voice. "He...no, you can't say that." They told me, sounding sad too before realizing that I was saying the truth to them.

"He saved me by sacrificing himself, Zed." I said, snorting.

"Shit, I'm...I'm sorry." They apologized even if they weren't aware of it. "I...he was an good guy, Yirina." They affirmed, their voice almost cracking. "Uhm, you maybe want to talk about something else ?"

"Uhm...yeah." I breathed, not even sure of my words.

"Well, Portnova's new job is very nice to say." They started, trying to sound positive even with the news I brought them "She has some good students with her and her colleagues greeted her well." They added, making me grin to hear that.

"That's good to hear." I expressed. "And what about you, Zasha ?" I questioned them, wanting to know more about their job at the MI6.

"Like I told you 2 days earlier, it's fine." They admitted, taking an deep breath. "Is there something you want to say ?" They asked after some few seconds of silence between us.

"Yeah, I want to know something about me, only if you know." I exclaimed, redressing myself to look if anyone wasn't near the door like Hudson did 2 days. "Do you know why I was sick in the end of December 1980 ?"

"Why you were sick ?" They repeated an bit confused. "Wait, let me think." They added, hearing some scratching. "As I remember, you weren't willing to talk about this." They finally replied, making me breath in defeat. "Even with me & Portnova, you never said why you were like that."

"Not even an idea ?" I suggested.

"Not even an idea." They repeated again my words.

"Shit, I would have like to know." I expressed an bit deceived to not learn anything new about this particular situation. "It's okay if you don't know, I will surely find it one day." I affirmed, scratching the back of my head, seeing no one entering the room. "There got to be an reason for that." I thought to myself in an silent voice.

"I can't help you with that but is there anything else I can maybe help ?" They demanded, curious.

"No, we had nothing to help us : the mission was an trap for us, the Nova-6 threat was faked and Adler was already taken away." I replied, almost angry and urging to punch an wall but that wasn't going to help me. "Naga is now our only lead."

"Damnit, Naga isn't the type of guy that will talk easily, it will take time for that." They said as they know him well, thinking about the memory where me & Zasha met him.

"I know but we'll find an way, I hope." I chuckled, raising my shoulders. "Listen, I have to make some things and take an big rest, I had an long day."

"Yeah, what you said....shit, it's very hard to hear about, I'm sorry again, Yirina." They apologized again, sounding bad again. "You call me back when you have something or maybe if you want to talk about things." They added.

"Don't worry, I'll call you." I grinned a little about it. "Say hello to Portnova for me & Park."

"Like always, say my hello to Park too." They told me in an half-pleasant voice. "Bye."

"Bye." I whispered before I hang up the phone, leaving me alone in that room and to say, that call didn't really make me feel better at all.

With that call ended, I wasn't sure if I was really going to leave that room, fearing to dump on Song but I got some courage in me and I left the room, wanting now to have an talk with Sims if it was possible, it was better for me to talk to him now instead of waiting too long for that, it was an perfect occasion. Luckily, he was one of the few remaining persons inside the big hangar, the others has already left to get to the dorm.

"Sims !" I called him out as he was sit at his desk alone, checking up an old picture of him & Adler as I could see it, arriving at his desk.

"Yes ?" He slowly turned his head around to look at me, curious.

"Can we have an word ?" I demanded and he nodded.

"Is this about earlier this day ?" He asked me, referring to that moment before I got to Naga or that moment when he asked to lower my gun & spare Naga's life...couldn't tell... "You know, I would have shot the bastard too but if he can help us by having Adler back..."

"Naga is an warlord, Sims." I exclaimed, crossing my arms as I leaned against his office. "It's going to take days to get him talk and even, if he's going to talk." I added, sure that Naga will not crack easily.

"I know." He breathed, looking back at the old picture he had in hands : him & Adler at the 'old times'.

"About Adler, I want to know some things." I started, finally getting into the subject with him. "There's things that it's disturbing me."

"I guess so." Sims whispered, putting down the picture on his desk. "What kind of things ?" He demanded.

"Well, do you know why I wasn't talking at all 3 years ago ?" I directly asked.

"Uhm...you want to talk about this ?" He said, looking an bit disturbed as there were some few peoples around us. "We should get outside for that." He proposed, getting up from his chair as I follow him outside, it was true that the subject was not something to be an common topic to talk about. "Yirina, I...."

"Just tell me why !" I cut him gently in his words, seeing his hesitation.

"I'm sorry but I don't know." He told me, making me roll my eyes.

"You...you don't know ?" I raised an eyebrow to him, not believing him at first. "You were with Adler and as I heard from Park, the CIA has made some files about me between the day I was captured and the day that Park arrived in Adler's team, files that she wasn't allowed to access." I continued, clear in my voice.

"And me too." He affirmed, making my eyes go wide.

"What ?" I breathed, sounding an bit shocked.

"The files you're talking about, they were all made by Adler and only him could have access them, not even me." He admitted, pointing at himself and looking away in the horizon. "Unfortunately, after Solovetsky, Adler told me he destroyed every files about you except the ones Park saved at the old safehouse."

"So, there's no way for me to know why I wasn't talking ?" He sadly shook his head to my question.

"You could still ask him, you know." He suggested but as we all know, it's hard these times. "I don't know what he did to you to be honest." He added to his statement, taking an deep breath.

"And also....how the CIA wasn't able to find out that Adler lied to them about having me in an coma ?" I questioned Sims about this, awaiting for an answer.

"Adler is the guy whose words are meaning an lot, so when he told the bosses that you were dead, everyone believed him." He replied, sounding an bit disturbed to tell this at my face. "Adler is convincing, to say."

"Yeah, pretty convincing !" I repeated those particulars words, meaning an lot from me. "Like he pretended to make me feel secure & safe by working with him, right ?" I expressed, remembering his words, trying to convince of his 'goods' intentions towards me. "Sims, were you aware of my state ?"

"No." He shook his head, closing his eyes. "Like everyone else, I thought someone else killed you but not him."

"You know the man for almost 15 years, Sims." I stated, looking at the picture he took with him in his hands. "Do you ever think that he lied to you at one moment ?" I asked him honestly, almost knowing the response in advance but I wanted to know what Sims was thinking of it.

"Maybe, doc' is always hiding something from everyone, Yirina." He answered, passing his hand through his head before looking at me with good eyes. "I never asked but how's memories ?" He demanded, curious.

"Fine, they're recovering but I still need answers." I responded, a bit embarassed to talk about it to him. "It could be memories from my time in the safehouse 3 years ago or memories of my past life ?"

"You don't remember some moments inside the safehouse ?" Sims was sounding confused to hear me saying that as I nodded. "Shit."

"Must be the bullet Adler shot me that did provoke that." I pointed at my scar on the side of my head rapidly. "I don't know what I will do when we will get Adler back and I ain't going to be too friendly." I said to Sims to be honest before deciding to slowly walk away from Sims, wanting to get some rest. "Thank you for talking with Sims."

"You know that I'm willing to help too in case, Yirina." He affirmed to me before removing himself from the wal he was leaned against. "Remember that you're not alone, we're here to help." He added, causing me to stop in my walk to look at him with an little smile.....

"I know, Park is always there for me but also you're an friend to me, Sims..."

[vancalox]

oc fallout companion meme!

nobody tagged me but i've seen this going around and i absolutely love it, so figured i'd try it out, too 🤧 doing this for nova, my lone wanderer, who leaves for the mojave after fo3 and could defintely make a kickass companion !

name: nova kane

location: the strip checkpoint. she will approach you after first discovering the checkpoint, and offer to pay your way through the gate in exchange for taking her with you to kill benny. if you refuse, you can still recruit her later. despite her disgust, she will remain with you if you chose not to kill benny, as well.

i think we should travel together: "sweet! been itching to kill something."

use melee: "i'm always down for a little blunt force head trauma." / "oh, this is gonna be fun! and . . . messy, but mostly fun!"

use ranged: "ha-ha, very funny - wait, for real?" / (sighs) "at least if we die, it'll be funny for the other guys."

open inventory: "so, uh . . . don't ask about the gore bags, okay?" / (snorts) "aw, what? is it too heavy for you, sugarbomb?"

stay close: "awwwwww!" / "sure thing, bestie!"

keep distance: "well fuck you, too." / "whatever. you were blocking my light, anyway."

back up: (scoffs) "say pretty please next time, asshole."

stealth: (laughs) "have you met me?" / (grumbles) "i'm way too pretty for this bullshit, courier."

be passive: "ugh, yawn. wake me up when you grow a spine." / "bet you're great fun at parties."

be aggressive: "now we're talking!" / "i almost feel sorry for 'em . . . (snorts) just kidding."

use stimpack: "yeah, thanks. just gotta . . . walk it off." / "whew! close one!"

wait here: (long, melodramatic groaning) / "don't kill anything without me!"

follow me: "miss me too much, huh? i understand." / "nice! was bored off my ass just standing here."

combat: "ugh, die already!" / "come on, at least try and make this fun." / "gonna mail your teeth to your grandma, bitch!"

death: "oh, fuck you . . ." / "sorry, charon."

send her to the lucky 38: "what, back to those assholes?" (sighs) "guess i do kinda miss them." / "can't wait to tell charon about all the shit we did this time."

send her home: "aw. and here i thought we were bonding." / "if you say so - but no dying, okay? i'll kick your ass if you die."

aggression: not aggressive / aggressive / very aggressive / frenzied

confidence: cowardly / cautious / average / brave / foolhardy

assistance / helps nobody / helps allies / helps friends and allies

karma: neutral

companion quest: NO ONE FUCKS WITH MY BABY; triggered after entering the bos bunker for the first time. nova explains that she has unfinished business with the brotherhood and asks that you kill a few select memebers of the faction. upon doing so, you will discover her real name is nova parilla, as well as her dark past within the capital wasteland of washington dc. what you chose to do with this information is up to you.

companion perk: CRAZY, HE CALLS ME; with nova on your side, most folks now know to think twice before messing with you. while in combat, enemies have a 15% chance to flee when they realize this, too.

weapons: omega (super sledge) / alpha (minigun)

tagging @arlathen @sexysideoftheforce @trvelyans @denerims @hotlinemojave @synthzander and anybody else who wants to, feel free to tag me so i can read abt ur ocs!

[ofparagade-a]

okay ... so if you're in the mass effect fandom then i cam only assume you know about the infamous book dubbed mass effect: deception. most of the fanbase has rendered this book non-canon due to the sheer amount of errors and plotholes there are in said book. now if you like the book, good for you! whatever. i'm not going to judge you for it. you do you.

now someone was actually nice enough to make a google docs post explaining all of the errors. and while damn near all of the arguments are solid, there is one that ... bothers me, so to speak, and it's this little note down below:

10. Asari Air Kisses - At one point Gillian and another biotic have an “asari air kiss” (which has never been mentioned in previous works) that causes the air around them to crackle with their biotic power. Nothing has ever suggested that biotic power works this way. [Error: Technology]

while i do understand where they're coming from in terms of such a thing never being mentioned in previous works ... there are a lot of biotic techniques we actually see in the games through cutscenes. two prime examples of this would be both jack and samara in both me2 and me3. now while i don't think it'd be called an asari air kiss, per se, but something like this existing is actually perfectly plausible.

another thing is that they state that the asari air kiss "causes the air around them to crackle with their biotic power" and says that biotics don't work like this ... ... ... ... ... i'm sorry but can you pls explain to me what in the actual hell nova and shockwave are, exactly, then??

nova sends shockwaves / ripples and cackles through the ground whereas shockwave does the exact same thing that this "asari air kiss" does except it's done in ripples much like how nova works. so idk where the op got the idea from that this ability isn't, in any way, possible. and, again, there are a shit load of biotic abilities that we've seen via cutscenes that we're not able to use in-game and biotics are actually a lot more versatile than op is giving it credit for.

with that being said, the only real "problem" i can come up with for this is the name of this ability. and even that's not really a "problem". a headscratcher maybe but not an outright problem?? i can't help but to wonder if we're even talking about the same game but that's just me.